It has now been three days since I arrived in Chicago to visit my family for the first time after two years. Enduring the negative four degree weather while thanking God for my new coat and boots which he so graciously blessed me with. I was eager and ready to just hang out with my cousins and I had this thought in my head that maybe we can sit around drinking tea and having amazingly fun converstaions, but unfortuanately that situation only occurs in the ComLife house, and with my family it’s a different story.
Saturday Night
My cousins 3 month old baby boy drooling on my shirt with a soft laugh as I admire the tiny swollen belly of my other little cousin , my idea of “hanging out” came to a halt when my wonderful family began to gather around the table to play “death circle”. An ever so popular drinking game I am sure I played in my past but unfortunately can’t remember.
At first I sat there enjoying their laughter and smiling because I missed them so much and love just to be in the presence of the cousins who at one point where my partners in crime. Then it got ugly, of course I wont say the full extent of the story well because it is private family issues. But the night ended with me storming out the house saying, #@%$ THIS, @$#% THAT, BEEP BEEP, BEEP“. Standing outside with the Chicago wind chill beating against my face as my curls went from blowing in the wind to stiff and frozen tendrils.
After this night that looked like so many nights of my past, I needed a serious dose of Jesus to fill my cold heart and the anger and frustration I felt toward my cousins. Thank you Lord that I am able to release my cold heart before your throne, to be warmed by the love of Christ.
Sunday Morning
The beautiful music flowing through my soul as the worship team in my cousins church belowed from deep within their spirits. As the elders of the church began to pray for me in a small corner of the church I felt my cousins trembling hand upon my back as tears flowed from her eyes while she slowly stepped in my place to recieve prayer. A conversation I had with Ali back in Georgia rang through my ears, ” I hope God wont give me the gift of tongues because its weird and sounds like your calling cattle”. This phrase swam in my head while I called “cattle”. My right hand on my cousins shoulder while my left hand cletched my other cousins hand and my tongue hopping around in words only the Lord knows. I was amazed but not because I spoke in tongues but because God chose to give me this gift among the people I feared would judge me the most. So this is only the begining of my vacation but guess what ComLifers I speak in tongues.
