“I haven’t played dodge ball since I was in middle school”, is what I said as Maggie and I walked into a small carpeted gymnasium filled with 60 broken hearted middle school kids. It was my choice to be apart of The Torch’s Wednesday night urban ministry and I thought it would be easy to get by. But as the night went on I realized that all though I can relate to these 13 to 15 year old kids in a sense that I grew up in a broken family in dangerous parts of Chicago. They still pushed me away and I got a taste of what I despised my entire life and what they live by, REJECTION.
Most of the boys where in gangs and the girls, well it scares me to say what they were doing because I know it all to well. At 14 years old I was already into sex, drugs, and partying which only leads to heartache and lots of it. Maggie and I played games and had pizza with them but it wasn’t enough. I started to feel like I wasn’t making an impact at all. Until I ran into Elizabeth in the bathroom. She was a beautiful girl who was the only one who held a conversation with Maggie I for more than 10 seconds the whole night.
As we were checking our hair and makeup in the mirror she told me how she walks alot in dangerous neighborhoods. I told her that all throughout highschool I took two buses and a train just to get from the ghetto to my suburb school, mostly traveling at night due to work and dance rehearsal.
“What if something happened to you, what did you do”? Elizabeth says to me with a intriging look on her face. “I did whatever I had to do to protect myself” As the bathroom conversation went on she asked me if anyone ever picked me up and I told her my mom didn’t drive and sadly people didn’t really care enough and if I got a ride from my boyfriend it came with a price. She looked as if I peered directly into her life. She asked me as we began to walk out the bathroom, “Do you have a boyfriend now?” “No” I say, “I am waiting for God to bring me my husband”. Silence with a smile is what she gave me. I gave her something she could relate to, she shattered my feelings of rejection.
After the kids went home I told about my encounter with Elizabeth and how the only time I talked with the boys is when they gave me their sweaty smelly shirts to hold (I guess thats what girls do) or when they asked me for my number (knowing full well I am way to old for them). Needless to say I will be going back and hopefully I can be “accepted” not only by Elizabeth but by all the kids. Funny thing I never thought I’d yearn to be accepted into a middle school click ever again, but clearly this yearning and passion can only come from one place, God.
