What is my Normalacy?

What is my Normalacy?

Continually being tested even in the midst of my prayer, my worship, and loving on people, the enemy always wanting to sift me, attempting to truly love people that some days I just can’t stand. Spending hours in converstions where I am NOT the main focus, being selfless, seeking that Warrior within when all I want to do is cower deep within my hurt, pain, and weakness.
Losing all of who I was to become all of who I am. Walking out my relationship in a public way, allowing my community to be brutally honest while remembering that with that honesty comes an overwelming amount of love. Dealing with youth pastors who fear violence and swine flu in Mexico, having deaths and trials that happen overseas affect my heart so much that I can barely function. Carrying the burdens of my brothers and sisters, prayer walks on a constant, asking the Lord always, engulfed by uncomfortable conversations with those who yearn for God but don’t quite know it yet. Loving on young girls who most days despise my authority and take advantage of my love, wanting so bad to do more knowing that each day there is nothing I can do without Christ. Remembering that I did nothing to deserve it and remembering that with great love comes great sacrifce, and the more I look and act like Jesus, the more the world hates and despises me, which in all honesty fuels the fire within me just to know that I am worthy of such suffering. Success, failure, confession, repentance, a brutal cycle that I am deperate to be freed from. Forgiveness, mercy, grace, and sacrifice, a beautiful love that I enjoy being trapped in.

To me ComLife is my Normalacy. I live an adventure where one day I am certain of my future and the next day I am lost in his Glory and letting go of the reigns. I yearn to continue to live in this adventure and God has given me that chance by allowing me to stay in Gainesville, GA working for The Edge department with Adventures In Missions. I have made a commitment and until God moves me here I will stay to continue on in my “normalacy”.